2280When we met for Izis SOTM photograph, she handed me a note with her story on it. I could write even more, she said.
Her story is quite complex, but here are the main points of her note, which Ive edited down to the following story:
I was pregnant with my first son and felt extremely unwell throughout. Gave birth to a lovely baby boy and the minute I saw him I wanted another one. Unfortunately eight months after giving birth I was still bleeding daily and felt exhausted and worn out. Went to several doctors who concluded that I was mildly depressed and needed a mild dose of anti depressants.
I wished for a second child but wanted to feel well first. I went to a doctor and specifically asked whether anti depressants were safe during pregnancy in case I needed them. They told me this. I thought about that sentence over and over and convinced myself that my second pregnancy would be easier than the first.
Got pregnant! Felt unwell. In the ninth week I felt extremely depressed. Visited the same doctor who then said: I never said anti depressants are safe. There are always risks with medications during pregnancy. This episode made me even more depressed. My psychologist decided that even though risky, I should take them as he feared I would commit suicide.
I eventually got worse, deep into severe depression. I was on the highest dose of anti depressants possible and on several tranquilisers. Just before the eight month two psychiatrists visited me and suggested electroconvulsive therapy.
During the last 4 weeks of pregnancy I was taken to hospital at 6am every Saturday morning for treatment. Luckily this was performed under full anaesthetic.
I gave birth to little Ali. It was a cesearean as I could not physically go through natural birth. A week after giving birth I was more depressed than ever. I couldnt even look at little Ali. I was given another four sessions of ECT.
Exactly 6 weeks after I gave birth to little Ali I literally sprinted out of bed and led a normal life since!! I am still on a mild dose of anti depressants and I thank God I went through this experience because I learnt how precious life is.
I am lucky my son is healthy and that life gave me a second chance! Taken in Swieqi, Malta on the SOTM World Tour.